What Not to Say at a Funeral: 4 Phrases That Hurt More Than Help

It’s true that age can offer some comfort. If a loved one lived a long, full life, it can be reassuring to reflect on the time they were given.

But saying “at least they lived a long life” can come off as minimizing the pain of loss. It suggests that grief should somehow be lessened simply because of time.

But no matter how long someone lived, losing them still leaves a hole in your life. For many, that hole never fully closes.

This kind of remark can also make a mourner feel guilty for feeling sad, as though they should be feeling grateful instead.

What to say instead:

“They touched so many lives. I know they meant a lot to you.”

This response acknowledges the life lost without implying that the grief should be “easier” or more manageable.

3. “I know exactly how you feel.”

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