That was the moment I decided to speak up.
I invited her for tea while the twins napped. “I love you and the babies,” I began, “but I’m not your built-in babysitter. I’m a grandmother. I want to help because I choose to, not because it’s assumed.”
“I do,” I answered. “But there’s a difference between visiting grandchildren and being expected to handle bedtime, bottles, and diapers every day. I need time for myself, too.”
Her expression hardened. “So you don’t want to help anymore?”
I took a breath. “I want to help on my terms — when I’m rested, when it’s planned, and when I can be fully present. Not because I feel guilty or because you’ve scheduled me like a nanny.”
She called me selfish. I called it setting a boundary.
Learning to Choose Myself
After that day, things grew quiet between us. My son tried to smooth things over, but I told him I wasn’t angry — just done being taken for granted.
Instead of setting aside extra money for their household, I booked a solo vacation I’d been dreaming about for years. I traveled, read books by the ocean, and remembered what my own laughter sounded like when it wasn’t drowned out by a baby monitor.
Of course, there are moments when guilt still taps at my shoulder. I miss the twins fiercely, but I know the kind of love they need can’t come from exhaustion or resentment. When I visit now, I do it with joy — because I want to, not because I’m obligated.
What I’ve Learned
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