When Helping Hurts: A Grandmother’s Lesson in Boundaries, Love, and Letting Go

We often talk about boundaries for young parents, but we rarely talk about boundaries for grandparents. Especially for those of us who’ve always seen family as a place where love means doing—constantly doing.

But I’ve come to understand that setting boundaries isn’t rejection. It’s a form of respect. It’s what allows love to breathe.

Now, I check in before offering help. I ask how she’s doing, and more importantly, I ask how much involvement she wants. Some days she wants company. Other days, she just wants rest.

And I honor that.

What Appreciation Really Looks Like

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