Grief hardens you in places you didn’t know existed. There are mornings when I feel pain in bones I can’t even name. My fingers lock up when I knit too long. My knees ache halfway through the market. But I keep going. Because Ben’s still here. He’s all that matters now.
To get by, I sell produce and flowers at the farmers market. Tulips in the spring and tomatoes in the summer. I knit in the evenings, making scarves, little bags, and even mittens if my hands allow. Every dollar counts. We live lean, but our little house is warm, and we’ve always got enough love to go around.
“You okay, honey?” I asked.
He nodded but didn’t speak. Brave as ever, but I could tell he was scared.
Afterward, I told him I had a surprise. Something small.
“Hot chocolate?” he whispered, hopeful, like even asking felt too big.
I smiled. “You earned it, buddy. Let’s go get some.”
We walked a few blocks to a sleek café near Main Street. It was all white tile and wooden counters, full of quiet customers sipping expensive drinks and typing away on shiny laptops. It was the kind of place where people look up when the door opens but not long enough to smile.
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