Every holiday season, visiting my in-laws came with an unspoken agreement: smile, nod, and keep everything pleasant no matter how tense it felt underneath. Christmas was especially challenging, wrapped in expectations I never seemed to meet. That year, the living room glowed with decorations and polite laughter, but I felt like I was walking on fragile glass. When my mother-in-law suggested we all pause for a “prayer,” I expected something brief and traditional. Instead, her words drifted into uncomfortable territory, touching on hopes for changes in people’s lives—careers advancing, families growing, traditions being “restored.” Each phrase landed heavier than the last, and I could feel the room growing still.
No one interrupted. Forks rested on plates, eyes lowered, and the silence stretched. I sat there, hands folded, trying to stay calm while feeling quietly singled out. It wasn’t loud or openly harsh, but it was unmistakable. The moment passed as the prayer ended, yet the air felt thicker than before. I told myself to let it go, reminding myself that holidays were complicated and people expressed concern in imperfect ways. Still, something about the quiet acceptance from everyone else made it harder to brush aside. I glanced at my husband, unsure of what he was thinking, unsure if I should say anything at all. Continue reading…
