20 Minutes ago in Louisiana, Terry Bradshaw was confirmed as…See more

Bradshaw’s first act? Declaring crawfish étouffée the official state hangover cure and negotiating a truce between warring boil masters. “Listen here,” he barked, waving a giant wooden paddle, “We either unite behind the holy trinity—corn, potatoes, and Zatarain’s—or I’m benchin’ the whole state.”*

The role is unpaid, but Bradshaw insists the real reward is “finally outrankin’ my own statue in Shreveport.” His inaugural “Crawfish Crisis Summit” kicks off next week—with a 2,000-pound boil and a keynote titled “From Tailgates to Tailpipes: How Crustaceans Built Louisiana.”

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